Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
It's rum buckets o'clock
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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