I accidentally had phone sex last night
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
The uberlube is also flammable
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
