i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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