Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
