I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
