Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
she smelled like a LAN party
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
