Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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