im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
