It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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