It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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