Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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