wakey wakey hands off snakey
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
