An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i think i scared a bird with my dick
She's the barista slut.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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