I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
