I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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