We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
