new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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