Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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