This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
