P.S. I can't hear my feet
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
We talked him into tasing himself.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
