We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
