the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
