I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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