I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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