I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
