they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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