We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
last night I used snow as a chaser
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
