Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
