god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
