I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize