I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
