i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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