The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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