I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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