Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I currently don't understand fingers.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
