He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
