I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
