new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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