i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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