lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
