he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
