It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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