i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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