fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
