im so drunk with asians
where?
always
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
