And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize