Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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