If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
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