i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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