Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
