i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
