when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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