I feel like I'm in dance class right now
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
