Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Shame - the story of my life.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
