btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
