I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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