Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
