Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
