True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
