So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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