Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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