You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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