Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
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