Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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