Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
sex in a hospital.. check
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
