So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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