only you would photoshop your dick
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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