Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
