we're blogging at a bar
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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