I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
