you guys were way drunker than both of me
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
