i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
