there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
