I must be too annoying 4 u.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize