she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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