so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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