I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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